Live True To You » Episode 11. From Hesitation to Healing: navigating doubt, anxiety and breathwork.

00:00:01
Lori: It's okay to be spiritual even if you're not religious. Don't have any crystals to put under the moon and don't have time to meditate.
00:00:10
Helen: Because that's when life gets fun, becomes fulfilling, and then you discover that it really is okay to be spiritual. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Views expressed are those of the hosts and guests personal experiences. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, whether medical, legal or otherwise. Welcome to another episode of It's okay to Be Spiritual. This is Lori, and I'm Helen.
00:00:39
Lori: Hi, Helen. How are you?
00:00:42
Helen: I know you know, but, you know, it's kind of fun. So this episode, we don't have the cards to shuffle because we're going to share, or Lori's going to share a recent breathwork experience.
00:00:54
Lori: So I thought this was really important just to show you guys how I'm going on the journey, but also someone who works with energy and understands it, that I'm no different to anyone else, really, you know? I mean, not that it was even a question, but my experience is I want to share. So if you have something similar. So I always didn't like breathwork and I've actually. Yeah, I mentioned this to you. So it was done in a session and I wasn't really prepared for it. And it kind of I felt I felt really out of control. This was the.
00:01:28
Helen: First time you ever did breathwork.
00:01:30
Lori: Yeah. So I didn't intentionally do it. It was just part of the modalities that practitioner could use. So it was, um, part of that session and I didn't particularly like it. I also didn't know I was going into a session that involve breathwork, and I probably wouldn't have done that if I'd have known. So obviously, I did what I had to do, though, right? Because Spirit's always leading me and I end up in the right place. And this is how I am experiencing my 3D Lady life. You know, I am led to these things. And then I learned the lessons. So I had it once, didn't really like it. And I've always mentioned I felt out of control with it, which someone said to me, it's the opposite of what it's supposed to do.
00:02:11
Helen: Ah, so I don't know what it's supposed to do, but I think if you felt out of control with it, then the it was working.
00:02:22
Lori: Yes, yes. And this is it, right. But I wasn't ready and I wasn't confident enough. And I 100% agree with you. I've never looked at it like that before.
00:02:33
Helen: So also you probably didn't have the framework to know. Ah, to understand this is one of the things I really like to help people with, to understand the framework of where control fits in in relation to the, the heart and the mind and the spiritual journey. So if you didn't have that framework and you felt that way, it would have been quite scary. Yeah.
00:02:53
Lori: And good that you mentioned heart because breathwork activates the heart chakra and is a massive activation in this area. So you if you're working on that area or things are coming up from that area, it makes sense. If you're feeling uncomfortable with breathwork or if you're intimidated by it or you're not sure if it's for you. So there was there's someone that comes to town every three months, spirit breathwork. And so I signed up for one of his sessions back in August, and I don't even know why I did that. I really don't, because it wasn't something like I would do, but I just knew it was almost the last piece of the puzzle for me. I needed to do it.
00:03:36
Helen: I just had that urge to.
00:03:37
Lori: Do it and I.
00:03:38
Helen: Prompting.
00:03:38
Lori: And I've done every other modality and I practice them and I can trigger them on myself. So I just thought, this is this is the light. I knew I was leading me somewhere, so I attended it and had the most amazing experience of my life. Yeah, I like I'll try and describe it because that doesn't do it justice. So it was a room above about 80 people, which was quite a lot. You lay down on a yoga mat and the staff was just tuning into the space, getting comfortable in the vessel that he's providing. He was playing guitar, didgeridoo, drums. And because I'm very musically linked, like my audience is so strong, I felt really connected to the music he was doing. And that's intentional. Like, he's very talented musician and he's very aware of energetic linkages and frequencies. So there was that playing and then you did a cacao ceremony. So drinking that with intention. And then just a little breathwork lead in. So showing you how the breath works, how you hold it, the feelings that can arise. And he speaks about tingles in your hands, tingles in your feet. Um back arching. You might want to throw your arms around a little bit. And then once you're in a comfortable space, the vocal releases will come. So a lot of people will scream, cry, laugh, anger.
00:05:01
Helen: So like 80 different versions of this all in the one room. Yeah.
00:05:04
Lori: Well, and so anger can also be triggered and they offer you a safe space if that's being triggered in you and you put your hand up if you'd like support. So there was a lot of facilitators because of the amount of people. And I went in there. You set an intent to I love that about his sessions. You go in and you set an intent about what you're trying to achieve or what you'd like support with, and then you call in a little bubble. He does a coloured visualisation bubble like he's absolutely got a beautiful format. I can't fault it at all. And so I did all that, and my intent was just to let go of whatever was in my body, holding me back. So it can be as simple as that. You don't need to know what it is exactly like that you might know it. You might not know it. So my intent was just to release whatever was holding me back. And because it was breathwork, I knew it was up in heart chakra, but I also knew I had some sacral sacral blockages that I wanted to move. And that's just my intuitive knowing on that one. I can't really give you a heads up how to do that, but maybe a practitioner can work with you and mention that they're blocked. So I went in and the tingles started in the hands and the feet in. As it's rising, I feel the energy rising. And because I'm a big mover and energy feeler, it hits me quite fast. And I was ready for this actually, before I did it, a couple of days before the activations were starting. So I think that's important for some people to realise. If you've booked a session with someone or you have an intent that you're going to go through a healing work, you will start to get activated a few days before. So windings might be coming up. Discussions might be really difficult, anxiety kicks in, anxiety will start to kick in. Your replay something in your head that's really troubling you, or you'll be like, why did I do that? I shouldn't have done that, you know, and you'll start to replay. And that's your body preparing.
00:06:54
Helen: Or spirit preparing you.
00:06:56
Lori: Spirit preparing. Yeah. Yeah, that's it's spirit. Yeah. But you're feeling it in your body. So it's starting to come up. Your awareness, your conscious is starting to become aware of it. So when you go into that session it's like we've done the pre-work. We've read the book before the session. You know, we were smart and you don't have to do anything right. It does. Your body and your spirit team will do it for you. You've just got to allow it to happen. So awareness that you will be triggered in the days prior to a healing session. And then I went in and it started to move and I could feel it coming on my heart. And um, you go with the breath and they count you in. And I started to hyperventilate, which is typical, you know, my breath. And because it was shifting on my heart. And so if you start to panic at this point, you can put your hand up, but you've got to realise you have to get a little bit uncomfortable at the point of the release. So it's it can be really and this is the contrast I'll talk about. This first experience was uncomfortable, but I was ready for it. And I'm very prepared for this type of work. So you probably won't have this as a first time experience.
00:08:04
Helen: Just so you, you know, you wouldn't have pushed yourself to an unsafe spot either. Like being uncomfortable with the being uncomfortable and willing to ride through it to get to a comfortable spot is different to being uncomfortable and pushing so hard it becomes dangerous.
00:08:25
Lori: Yeah, agree. And they have facilitators and they would say so. When this was happening, someone came over to me and put their hand in my chest and just said, breathe with me. And so I would breathe. And then I felt them help me lift it off. And so then the heart went, and then it moved into my hip. And so I felt it in the right hand side of my hip. And so if we go, you know energy working hyper sacral right hand side is male. So it's controlling or a male in my life. And just the emotion of that was stuck in that hip. So then the hip starts to go. And so my body is rocking and that leg is just kind of flicking like with the beat and the movement. And so it's just flicking and you've just got to surrender and let it go. You know, you just let spirit take over your body in a safe way. If you're feeling safe, it's it happens quite fluidly. And then that went and there was lots of hip rocking. And then they came over again and supported me to release that because I was cramping and I couldn't shift the cramp and they could see that. So then he's shifting my hips and just saying, you're in a safe space, let it out, let it out. And so then that went. And then my voice started to go and as my throat chakra was releasing, my back was arching. Whoa. Yeah. I'm very you're a move. I'm a mover. Which shouldn't surprise anyone. Yeah.
00:09:40
Helen: I'd be like, as still as just let me breathe and then.
00:09:43
Lori: So. Yeah. So the back arches, the throat starts to like vibrate and you just have to let it out. And it sounded similar to when I birthed my children.
00:09:52
Helen: Oh my gosh.
00:09:53
Lori: It's very primal. It's very deep. It's very it's almost like it's not your voice. It's it felt ancestral as well. And that's just what I was feeling in the moment. So I it was releasing that block on my throat. And all this was done before podcast, interestingly enough. Um, so I spoke to you about my throat release as I was having before podcast, and it felt very ancestral that I was healing. So then the throat went. It went back into my right, my left hip and then in my arms are moving as well. So I'm just completely absorbed in this energy and I could feel everyone else's energy at the same time. And that actually was fuelling me and giving me the confidence that if everyone around me is is safe and doing this, then like, we're all in it together. And so I did feel a sense of camaraderie. And then at the end, they bring you down and you do a yoga session and just drink water and just take a moment and journal. And it's a really beautiful it's about an hour's worth of breathing, but you don't have to breathe intently the whole time. There is ups and downs and as you cry and release, you just kind of sit with it, and then you can go back into the breathing to shift the next bit. And if you just shift one, that's more than enough. If you do a heap like me, then that's great too. There's no expectations. And so that was my first experience. And after that I told you and Jane and I just said, you've got to do this. This is next level Turner. What I clear. But I feel so much better, I feel great, I just I was in love with it to the point where I would like to be a facilitator one day. But, you know, I'll just add that to the list. And then I went back. So I booked in again for three months time, which was only a week or two ago, and I, I shouldn't, but I expected similar. Oh, so I've already set myself up before I've walked in the door.
00:11:43
Helen: We talked about this in one of the previous episodes.
00:11:46
Lori: And that was playing in my head the whole time. So I lay down this time and I didn't feel anything.
00:11:54
Helen: Well, hang on a minute. What was playing in your head.
00:11:57
Lori: That I was going into release everything like I was last time, and it was going to be the expectation, not the.
00:12:02
Helen: Wise words.
00:12:03
Lori: No, no, no, I don't tell me what I say because I don't listen. I need to experience it myself. And that's another key thing with me. I can't be told I have to live it myself. So this was very, um, really good for my journey, actually the whole experience. So went back in the second time. Same type of thing. Less people though. It felt a lot calmer actually. The energy it was about half the number of people. And so it felt a lot calmer. And I'm breathing and I just couldn't go deep with the breath, like there was just something stopping me. And every time I tried, my body would just call me back and be like, no, you're not doing that. That's not that's not what we're doing this time. And I just kept trying. I'm like. Like I'm doing it. It's shifting. I want the heart cleared. And it constantly was like, no, no, that's not what we're doing here. And then once I actually just breathing more calmly and not trying to do it so deep, I felt the tingle come from solar up through my body, and it was almost like someone had a light. And because I cleared sacral down last time quite intensely, it was going here and I could just feel this energy rising in my body the whole time. And it was almost like I could pull a line across my body as to where it was shifting and moving. And then as it comes out my head, my hands go above my head and they just tingle and my hands just flail around like they do when I do energy work. And I could just feel it all coming out. But it felt really beautiful this time, like it was all love. There was no trauma. There was no replacing. There was nothing more in it except just this. It's almost like we're just going to give you a little light sweep over, you know, just a little sweep clearing. You did the work last night.
00:13:45
Helen: It was little.
00:13:46
Lori: No, probably not little. But, you know, let's say it was. So we did that. And then I just went into a really high meditative state. So I just came out of my body and I just sat up here in the space for a really long time. But my mind is going, no, we need to clear it like we need to clear more. Surely there's stuff in the hips that needs to go. Surely there's root chakra stuff that needs to shift. Get back in the third eye. You know, surely I haven't got all my clairvoyant abilities. Let's clear that. And every time I tried to do that, it just would not let me. And I eventually surrendered.
00:14:24
Helen: Eventually being.
00:14:25
Lori: The key word.
00:14:26
Helen: Here in.
00:14:26
Lori: The last five minutes.
00:14:28
Helen: So far.
00:14:30
Lori: And then I came out of it, I think I messaged you and I'm like, what's that episode we did about not having expectations and to know that every experience is different, and just because something happened once doesn't mean it needs to happen the same way again.
00:14:47
Helen: Mhm.
00:14:48
Lori: And so these texts went back and forth and I got the vibe that you were essentially questioning whether anything happened at all in that breathwork. Like, you know I didn't clear anything, nothing dramatic happened. Therefore it was a waste of time. I don't think you were quite at that point, but you were heading in that direction. And I eventually just thought, you know what? Stop letting trauma lead the way and let love lead the way. And then you're like, ah.
00:15:17
Helen: And then, well, it took me 24 hours. So that's the other thing. I did that, but it didn't hit me for 24 hours after, which isn't uncommon. So you can have the release in the session or it can come in a day or two after. So I was cleaning out my car, and I just. You'd sent those messages, and I had the realisation that I've done a lot of the work on the trauma. You know, I went deep and I went in and I cleared it, and I followed my gods, and I followed the signs, and I jumped in headfirst to everything. And this was their way of saying like, back off. Like you've done the work. Now just sit in this beautiful vibration. You don't have to keep going back into it. And you almost get what I feel like I was victim to it leading the way because it felt safe. Like if I had to keep working on these things, I had a project and there wasn't an end in sight. And that really fuels me because I feel like I can keep going and I'm like everyone else. I'm just working on this and working on that, and we're all in the trenches together. And the realisation that I may have done a lot of the work, not all of it, because I don't think it ever ends, but the realisation that I may have actually cleared it and gotten to a level was more terrifying than thinking I had more trauma to shift. Well, yeah. And that was really intense. And then some songs came on like a random shuffle. I was doing that intentionally, too. I was just shuffling on my playlist, not one I'd made because I thought, there's there'll be signs coming in, was on processing, and then that were all there, and it was about higher love and, you know, having enjoying your life and writing it and all this vibration of, you know, the reality that I may have actually done so much, I didn't see the work I'd done and appreciate how far I'd come. And almost having a project felt like a safe space. And now I have to sit in this space now where if I've done it all, then what next? You know, if I've done the back of it, what could I possibly bring into my life now?
00:17:18
Lori: But also love's and expansive energy without an agenda except to create. So you're standing at the precipice of a point where you're like, Suddenly there is no plan. There kind of is. But like from where you've come from, where, you know, you like having the project of that particular trauma, blockage, whatever to work on. There's a like a plan, like an agenda or something to do. Whereas at the precipice of opening the door to unconditional love, you're like, oh man, I could do anything or nothing. And then you just like, um, here.
00:18:04
Helen: Well, so.
00:18:04
Lori: What are we doing?
00:18:06
Helen: Ah.
00:18:07
Lori: And then it kind of hit me why you and I are together. Because you are so hot. Energy and high vibration and love. And you're so like that energy. And you embody that in a way that I don't. And I think your presence is showing me like that's the next step. Like that's where you go to.
00:18:29
Helen: Thank you. You're welcome.
00:18:32
Lori: But like it was, it was really terrifying. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. Thinking you've done the work. And what next? But then it leads to the manifestation that we've touched on. Oh, yeah. So I am going to try and manifest something with this energy. Because if I've cleared all these densities and I have the capacity for love and light, I'm going to see where that takes me now.
00:18:54
Helen: Of course you have the capacity for love and light. Everyone does. But it is, you know, and I think one of the big pitfalls of, let's just broadly call it the self-help or a new Age spirituality is this focus on trauma and shadow work. And whilst I'm not entirely disagreeing, I'm just saying don't let that lead you. You know, keep your eye on the prize, which is unconditional love and the expansion and the sharing and the spreading of that beautiful higher frequency. And when we are always looking for a shadow, or always looking for a problem, or always looking for a trauma, then we're essentially just taking our eye off the prize, you know, like we're we're turning backwards instead of going forwards.
00:19:46
Lori: And it is lower vibrational to looking for the traumas, you know, okay, I've done this. I've got the capacity to expand. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I could do this now. You know, you don't sit in that expansion for long enough. You want to keep jumping in. So if you're feeling anxious and obviously like medical diagnosis, whatever a sight, like if you genuinely feel like you're in a position and you're cruising along, okay. And then there's it feels like something's going on and you're getting anxious or sleepless nights or tossing and turning cold sweats. You know, you just feel like something's going on. It could be that that's the energy trying to come out, because you have the capacity to let in all this love and light and it just wants out. Mhm.
00:20:31
Helen: Or you've generally when that happens you've at some point prior to that made a decision to let more love and light in. Yeah. You've made an intention or you've said you're willing or you've made a decision whichever way that's been created for you then then I, I love the saying love shows you what needs to change. You know, another way to say it is love shines the light on where the darkness is. And then sometimes you need to go into that darkness to work out what it is. But often you don't. And there are so many different modalities out there, aren't there? I mean, we're talking about breathwork, but you could use kinesiology or you could use, um. Oh, I've just got.
00:21:19
Lori: Reiki Spinal flow. Spinal. Energetic.
00:21:24
Helen: Compassionate inquiry.
00:21:26
Lori: Um. Family constellations.
00:21:27
Helen: Oh, yeah. Yeah, we talked about that yesterday. Yeah. So there's loads of different modalities to use, but whichever one you choose or whichever one you guided to, I think the most important thing is always keep the eye on the prize, which is the unconditional love, the expansion of your true self.
00:21:45
Lori: Um, and the I think that's really good. You touched on if you're, you know, you're asking for help or you're wanting to step into it, or if you're starting to expand your conscious awareness and you're seeing more numbers and you're like, why do I always see three, two, two, you know, and that is part of it. And then when that steps in, that's showing you your capacity to release this dense energy. And if you're seeing a lot of numbers and then you're feeling anxious, that's that's kind of how you'll get there. Like that's not a bad thing. Um that's lovely. You just need to let love lead the way to get you through that.
00:22:22
Helen: Um.
00:22:22
Lori: We'll find a practitioner that you really resonate with. Yeah. And go say to them, I'm seeing this number and I'm really anxious, like what is going on? And they'll be like, oh, here it is. You know, like this energy just needs to shift. Let's work through it together. Or here's some practices you can do.
00:22:37
Helen: Yeah. You don't have to do it on your own.
00:22:39
Lori: No. Definitely not.
00:22:40
Helen: There are no prize badges in heaven for doing it on your own.
00:22:44
Lori: No.
00:22:46
Helen: So I think that's really valuable sharing that experience. Yeah. Thank you very much.
00:22:52
Lori: You're welcome, I hope. Yeah. And if you're considering doing breathwork, I hope that gives you a heads up as to what you might expect in a group setting. Um, different individually, I think.
00:23:02
Helen: Yeah, but also to what to look for in a safe group setting as well.
00:23:06
Lori: Mhm. Yes. Safe vessel is really important. Mhm.
00:23:11
Helen: And a little hopefully it's been you know reassuring. I think all of us have that experience on the spiritual journey. You're like, you've made the decision to expand love and to let more light into your life. And then all of a sudden you're hit with whether it's a wave of anxiety or a wave of depression or a wave of intense self-doubt, we're all going to get hit with it at some many points, not just one. Um, and then we think, ah, is this all worth it? And then we have to remind ourselves, yes, love. Love shines a light on what needs to change. This is just another thing I need to let go of, and I can keep on my merry way. I am doing it. This is happening. It's unfolding.
00:23:52
Lori: Yeah, a great like shifting mindset. Behaviours are wounds. All patterning. It's all there. Ready to shift when you're ready.
00:24:02
Helen: Um, so keep going. Um.
00:24:05
Lori: We hope this helps you out.
00:24:06
Helen: Bye for now.

Episode 11. From Hesitation to Healing: navigating doubt, anxiety and breathwork.

Transcript